Monthly Archives: April 2009

The Hoverboard Lie: How Back to the Future Ruined Childhood

New Cracked column up dealing with an issue near and dear to my heart: Murdering the bastard responsible for telling everybody that hoverboards were real, just too dangerous to sell. I found out who he is, and what the nearest … Continue reading

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The Five Most Disturbing MMOS

New GameSpy article up, regarding the world’s most disturbing MMOS! You can Digg it right the hell here! There are cow-taints and zombie kitties! There are shit piles and disembodied asses! THERE ARE SO MANY MORE EXCLAMATION POINTS!!!

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Death’s a Bitch: The Worst Deaths of the Millennium (So Far.)

New article up at Atom, which includes the worst Kung-fu movie plot in history, sword-fighting grandmas, ghoul-bullets, exploding wangs and the most absurd racism you will likely ever see. If you need more incentive to click on this, there’s also … Continue reading

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City of Visual Puns

Ladies, listen up: I have a huge, throbbing, rock hard…inner nerd. And it’s about ready to explode all over your face. Because I just saw this:

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The Worst Book Review Ever

New article up at Cracked, filled with perversion and insanity, drastically misundertanding the written word, and vaguely frightening away potential readers with images of a world they would rather pretend didn’t exist. Business as usual. Help it out over here … Continue reading

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The Five Most Dangerous Game Peripherals

My first article is up at Gamespy! If somebody can help me get my hands on the PediSedate, my Saturday nights would sure appreciate it. Also, if the FBI just read that last sentence, I swear to god it’s not … Continue reading

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Old Timey Ad Comics

I have this fascination with old timey advertising: I think it’s that unique combination of blatant racism, subtle sexism, and starry-eyed naivete that make these ads such classics. Sure, they’re horrible, rights-violating, politically incorrect testaments to ignorance, but god damn … Continue reading

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