Category Archives: Video Games

How Not to Deal with the Red Ring of Death

Posted on November 18, 2009 by gomijin

New column up at Cracked, dealing with that most painful, humiliating, shameful of issues: Gaming Dysfunction. I myself was recently molested by the RROD, and I hope my harrowing tale helps anybody else out there suffering from this. No, no … Continue reading →

Posted in Featured, Video Games | Tagged | 6 Comments

My Field Trip to the Large Hadron Collider

Posted on November 11, 2009 by gomijin

New column up at Cracked, regarding my rather poor understanding of advanced physics, my very poor understanding of journalistic integrity, and my unfathomably poor understanding of sexual misconduct laws. Also, I guess I owe Sweden like eight billion dollars in … Continue reading →

Posted in Featured, Video Games | Tagged | 1 Comment

A Life-Changing Seminar on Empowerment, Leadership and Boobs

Posted on July 15, 2009 by gomijin

New column up at Cracked wherein I attend a pentecostal church, because I feel like my place in this world may be more than just cracking jokes and mindless hedonism. It’s like…there’s got to be something more, you know? I … Continue reading →

Posted in Featured, Uncategorized, Video Games | Tagged | 1 Comment

The New Bionic Commando: Poorly Thought-out Childhood Fantasies Come to Life.

Posted on May 11, 2009 by gomijin

Good god, do I love the new Bionic Commando. I love it because it has introduced me to a childhood dream that I never knew about. Sure, I wanted to be Spider-Man, and I also wanted to be a master … Continue reading →

Posted in Video Games | Tagged , , , | 10 Comments

City of Visual Puns

Posted on April 23, 2009 by gomijin

Ladies, listen up: I have a huge, throbbing, rock hard…inner nerd. And it’s about ready to explode all over your face. Because I just saw this:

Posted in Video Games | Tagged , , , | 25 Comments

The Cocoon: The Sad, Embarrassing Future of Virtual Reality

Posted on March 6, 2009 by gomijin

Ever since The Lawnmower Man first showed us that virtual reality could do just about anything – even turning even the mentally handicapped into poorly-rendered demigods of murder – our culture has been obsessed with bringing VR to life (well, … Continue reading →

Posted in science, Video Games | Tagged , , | 30 Comments

How to Bed Art Majors Using Only Your Knowledge of Video Games

Posted on August 26, 2008 by gomijin

If you’re in college, you are most likely surrounded by attractive members of the opposite sex right now. If you’re reading this website, you are most likely a nerd and they want nothing to do with you. See, college is … Continue reading →

Posted in Video Games | Tagged , , , | 18 Comments

Braid: The Next Portal?

Posted on August 14, 2008 by gomijin

For something to be considered a work of an art, you have to be able to dissect it – to look at it carefully from every angle, and come up with something to say about it that is both fairly … Continue reading →

Posted in Video Games | Tagged , , , | 32 Comments

Grand Theft Auto IV: The best, and worst game ever made?

Posted on June 9, 2008 by gomijin

I know I promised to shut up about it, but that is because I lied to you. I lied to you so hard. When I wrote this about Grand Theft Auto, it was more of an impression than a review; … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized, Video Games | Tagged , , | 96 Comments

How peeing is exactly like Contra.

Posted on May 15, 2008 by gomijin

I’m seriously sick, but still feel duty-bound to update, and so I will. Like all men, I must daily face a gauntlet of adventurous challenges rivaling the deathtraps of Indiana Jones every time I go to the bathroom. Specifically, I’m … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized, Video Games | Tagged , , , , | 6 Comments