Old Timey Ad Comics

I have this fascination with old timey advertising: I think it’s that unique combination of blatant racism, subtle sexism, and starry-eyed naivete that make these ads such classics. Sure, they’re horrible, rights-violating, politically incorrect testaments to ignorance, but god damn does that rich, chocolatey Ovaltine look delicious! So anyway, I started collecting any halfway decent old timey ad I could find and, like I do with basically everything, I took it upon myself to make them so, so much worse. Keep in mind I didn’t change any of the copy for these things, I just added my own. The rest of that comedy is pure ’50s bile.

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16 Responses to Old Timey Ad Comics

  1. Jonathan says:

    Haha! I’m gonna start calling things the bee’s knees from now on.

  2. Muledriver says:

    Oh my God! In the “5 Foolish Women” ad? You see the older woman in the picture at the bottom? The one with the caption that reads “My store doesn’t display ceiling prices”?

    I’d hit that.

  3. Max says:

    I enjoyed this but I thought there was going to be a wider range of adverts. Another future instalment perhaps?

  4. Amos says:

    WTF are Ceiling prices?
    Is that just a U.S thing?
    Or is so women look up and check the prices on the ceiling while me check out the boobage…
    You clever Yanks!

  5. Robert says:


    If you’ve got an inside tip on reasonable prices for tins of corned beef, I bet you could.


    These were just a quick mock up, if I ever do more I’ll use different eras and such.


    They’re whore prices. While you’re getting ridden, you just look up at the ceiling for a handy pricing guide. That way you know exactly how much it would cost you if you suddenly, say, wanted her to call you Doctor Dangledong while you climaxed into a stethoscope.

  6. Sir Fortesque says:

    Ahh! Too. much. pressurefromthe elite dick jokers of the internet is bearing down on me! I can’t take building terror/humor on such insidiously incorrect and brilliant display of entertainment. Go. On. Without… Me.

    Ahhh! Eat ostrich cock! But ostriches are still birds so I don’t know if they have cocks or pseudo cocks. I forgot that bit of biology.


    In labcoats (raincoats? tailcoats? Top hats?).

  7. Brett says:

    I’m glad that we as a country have barely progressed from this point. Our ads are still as pretty damn racist/sexist.

  8. Muledriver says:

    OK. Our band’s new name is “Doctor Dangledong featuring Sex Anger”.

    I still get to play drums, though.

  9. steven.seib@yahoo.com says:

    Hahahaha cocks indeed.

  10. deadlytoque says:

    “comics, lore, racism sexism and hulkamania meet and explode BROTHER”: Great tags, or BEST TAGS EVER?

    Also, is it just me, or does “Honorable Japanese” look like someone took an image of your standard lantern-jawed, manly-man (Gregory Peck, perhaps) and then just painted the “racial features” overtop?

  11. steven.seib@yahoo.com says:

    This has nothing to do with the article, but what happened with the zombie thing?

  12. This makes all those times that my near-sighted Grandpa screamed “Tojo!” at our Mexican mailman only slightly racist. Now those Klan Youth Brigade BBQ’s, those were really racist.

  13. JasonF says:

    Message: i’m having another laugh seizure at work thanks to the 5 foolish women ad. thanks again, brockway.

  14. Robert says:


    Can our first album be called The Dick Frontier?


    It’s still advertising. Even if they’re dirty japs they should still look sexy and appealing.


    Cracked bought it, it did really well there too. The original will be back up at the site as soon as my next post at Cracked goes live.

  15. janeyp says:

    “We can afford to pay more” girl looks like she’s ahead of her time.

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