Monthly Archives: November 2009

5 Disturbing Ways the Human Body Will Evolve in the Future

So there’s a new article up at Cracked, dealing with the future of the human body and the many changes that techno-aw hell, who am I kidding? It’s mostly about the future of dick. Dick dick dick. You happy now? … Continue reading

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How Not to Deal with the Red Ring of Death

New column up at Cracked, dealing with that most painful, humiliating, shameful of issues: Gaming Dysfunction. I myself was recently molested by the RROD, and I hope my harrowing tale helps anybody else out there suffering from this. No, no … Continue reading

Posted in Featured, Video Games | Tagged | 6 Comments

My Field Trip to the Large Hadron Collider

New column up at Cracked, regarding my rather poor understanding of advanced physics, my very poor understanding of journalistic integrity, and my unfathomably poor understanding of sexual misconduct laws. Also, I guess I owe Sweden like eight billion dollars in … Continue reading

Posted in Featured, Video Games | Tagged | 1 Comment

The Cracked.com Open Bar: An Incomplete Recollection

There’s a new column up at Cracked, regarding the intricate series of lies about the Cracked staff party that we are disseminating to draw attention away from the many real crimes that were committed there. Crimes of passion. Hot, steamy … Continue reading

Posted in Featured | 2 Comments