10 Mustache Stereotypes That Must Be Stopped

There’s a new column up at Cracked, concerning the recent, ironic resurgence of the moustache, with terrifying pictures of the horrible consequences. My own moustache makes a guest appearance in this column, insisting it’s only going to crash out on the couch for a few days. It, of course, greatly overstays its welcome, leaves its socks on the table, and gets caught boning a soul-patch on the article’s bed. Digg it for confusing analogies!

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11 Responses to 10 Mustache Stereotypes That Must Be Stopped

  1. Chalk says:

    You never post original things here anymore, Robert.

    why have you abandoned us?

  2. Robert says:

    Are you kidding? Because I work doing this now, dude. Between article rewrites, topic edits, header image scripts and, oh yeah – my weekly column and books – there’s more of my stuff available than there ever, ever has been. I probably spend more time writing than most people do awake.

  3. Nendo says:

    Message:key word here. Your current work while certainly larger in volume, lacks direct interaction.

  4. Robert says:

    No, I got that the key word is “here.” I’m just saying: “Holy shit, do you see how much more I do now? That is the answer to the question you are asking.”

  5. Kiki_Ca says:

    Awesome, as always

  6. Scot says:

    Message: Robert, just wanted to thank-you for providing me some quality entertainment in a world that takes itself too seriously. I am in the military and enjoyed your perspective on how the good idea fairy will kill us. Keep it up. The world needs you to save it from itself. Anyway – it has been a long time since I read a book three times. Just to laugh. Thanks – Scot

  7. kate says:

    Message:I believe you’re my favorite columnist. I changed my preference from Mr. Bowie because you’re so damned manly.

  8. Miranda says:

    Message: Shit man I think you’re doing a great job. For awhile I’ve been browsing Cracked for some new comic genius instead of the dried up run of the mill factory produced crap that has been the article section lately. I found your article on The True Stories Behind wtf Images and I fell in love ;D

  9. Haha! Nice. Great stuff on Cracked, by the way — got here from one of them, after all.

  10. Jon says:

    Love your writing. I’m on the cracked app just about every day, but nothing beats the times that I can go on and read one of your stories that feature your hilariously ignorant characters. I’m in the middle of ‘fuck this cult’ right now. Your writing never disappoints. Thank you, keep it up.

  11. Fortesque says:

    Thank you for this article and for all your articles, they have been truly wonderful to read (for years now. wow). Enjoy life. (By enjoy life I mean grab peoples faces and scrape them across your mustache and beard. You have to keep life on its toes.)

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