Death’s a Bitch: The Worst Deaths of the Millennium (So Far.)

New article up at Atom, which includes the worst Kung-fu movie plot in history, sword-fighting grandmas, ghoul-bullets, exploding wangs and the most absurd racism you will likely ever see. If you need more incentive to click on this, there’s also lots of tits (Note: That is a lie.) Digg it here to keep me rollin’ six-deep in Oriental flavor Ramen.

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13 Responses to Death’s a Bitch: The Worst Deaths of the Millennium (So Far.)

  1. steven.seib@yahoo.com says:

    The exploding head picture that you used in this article and the dangerous game peripherals article, what movie is that from? I have to see it.

  2. steven.seib@yahoo.com says:

    Also, I found the ways that the people died were funnier than your comments, but the ways they died were so fucking funny I don’t even care. But you don’t get paid to tell us how people die, you get paid to make fun of them.

  3. Robert says:

    Seib,

    The movie is Scanners, and it is all about blowing up people’s heads with your mind. Also, you don’t pay me to do jack shit. I doubt you click on ads or support my employers, so you’re irrelevant. When you start earning your keep, I’ll start listening to your opinions, holmes.

  4. JD says:

    Dude, it’s 2:22am. My wife is sleeping and I’m crying from not laughing out loud. Angry necromancer gangland beef? Ghoul bullet? You really want me to have to sleep on the couch for waking her up, don’t you?

  5. Max says:

    ahh china
    so scary, but they obv have their own trials!

  6. Mr H says:

    just when i was feeling depressed,finding out that china is full of exploding people sudenly makes the world a better place

  7. steven.seib@yahoo.com says:

    God damn it Robert I control fucking everything. When your book hits the stores I will personally drive to every book store in America and burn all of them.

  8. Brett says:

    I want to die falling from a massive height, cursing a celebrity. Stupid David Duchovney.

  9. Robert says:

    This is not a Message:

    JD,

    Yes.

    Mr. H,

    But their eventual economic takeover will bring that all over here. I hope you’re still laughing when your halfbreed grandchildren start exploding.

    Brett,

    I kind of want to do falling from a great height too, but I’d like to be doing the classic Bruce Lee jump-kick the whole way, so that it looks like I’m just really coming to kick the shit out of one guy somewhere at ground level.

  10. Mary Cate says:

    This article made my day, along with your “The Hoverboard Lie” one on Cracked… I dislike commenting there, so I decided to tell you here.

    Today got a bajillion times better because of those articles. End. Fucking. Statement.
    Cheers!

  11. Moises Colondres says:

    Message:listen personally I don’t think that diyin is funniii at all. Am a christian and when people die without God in your life they go 2 hell. What I mean is that look 4 God now b4 u end up like those people or worse. Jesus love u even dou u don’t love him. Remember he died 4 u and gave up everything 4 u so y can’t u give up ur life 4 him

  12. Moises Colondres says:

    Message:seriously, Jesus died 4 u it really wasz da worse death evr not only of da millenium. What am tryin to say is dat God is callin u and is talkin 2 u throught me he wants u 2 be safe and go 2 heaven. And am not jokin Godis talkin 2 u and if u don’t listen and u die u will go to hell straight up so just love him as he loves u go to church and read the Bible and follow the 10 commandments

  13. Robert says:

    Yeah, I don’t buy it, troll. I’m not biting.

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