The Five Most Dangerous Game Peripherals

My first article is up at Gamespy! If somebody can help me get my hands on the PediSedate, my Saturday nights would sure appreciate it. Also, if the FBI just read that last sentence, I swear to god it’s not what it sounds like. Please Digg or otherwise share it here, because I really want to write more stuff for them.

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13 Responses to The Five Most Dangerous Game Peripherals

  1. steven.seib@yahoo.com says:

    Message:GODDAMMIT ROBERT WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED!!!!!!!!
    THIS NEW WEBSITE LOOKS LIKE YOU ATE SOME SHIT AND THREW IT UP ALL OVER MY COMPUTER SCREEN!!!!! CHANGE IT BACK!!!!!!!!!!

  2. Robert says:

    No.

    You’re a troll; your knee jerk reaction is to fear and belittle change. It is a great layout that fits the direction of this site much better than the magazine style layout we had before. It’s more like a typical blog now, and so therefore it does not need an article intensive layout as was previously up, nor does it need a science/technology theme now that that is not its focus. Now there are zombies, robots, and old timey pugilists mixing together in love and harmony – as it was always meant to be. You’ll get used to it and love it, or leave. Either way…

  3. IFIGHTROBOTSTOOWHATACOINCIDENCE says:

    Zombies, and ro-o-bots… live together in perfect har-mony, side by side on ro-bert site. Oh Lord why don’t we

  4. Muledriver says:

    Message: Seib isn’t even a good troll.

    Now Blockhead & Watty…those guys were TROLLS.

  5. Jim Castle says:

    Message:OK, I’ve looked all over this new goddamn layout, and there is no way to browse back articles. Try as I might, I can’t seem to view articles that aren’t the five most recent articles.

    Maybe I’m just not seeing it, but I’ve been on the front page for the past 45 minutes glaring at every tiny detail of the interface (by the by, that pugilist background? That’s the only thing about the new visuals not doing it for me), but no link claiming “Archive,” “Older,” “Other Posts,” NONE of that shit.

    I checked the header. I sifted through the footer. I tore apart the side bar like that drug-sniffing dog did to my carry-on at SeaTac. I can’t find any way to look at your older stuff. Oh mighty droid-beater, pray tell, where liest the information I seek?

    P.S. There aren’t any robots in the new layout, either. Zombies, yes. Boxing, yes. Robots? A shameful omission. I’m not mad… but I am very disappointed.

  6. Robert says:

    Jim,

    You’re totally right. Sorry for the inconvenience dude. This is the first day the new layout is up, so this stuff is probably going to happen for a little bit while we work things out. We’ll have it back up ASAP.

    Oh, and there is the best robot ever. Hint: Look closely at the boxer. That was the very first robot ever on this site.

    Also, you don’t like the pugilist!? Why not? Have you tried rapidly scrolling up and down so that they dance like octopii?!

  7. Matt Willard says:

    Mmmmm, I would like to tab right into the comment field after I enter my name and other information…it’s just easier that way, methinks.

    Anyway, great article. Glad you didn’t tackle the obvious. Instead…well, let me just say this. The Wii desperately needs more hardcore games than sex over Skype.

    (I mean, have you tried Skype sex? It’s very awkward.)

  8. Robert says:

    That’s a little more specific than we can get here, it’s just wordpress mods, after all. The big stuff like forgetting the archives though, that’s a different matter.

  9. Jim Castle says:

    Message:OK, the octopi dance is oddly soothing. Thanks for letting me know I’m not going mad.

    I suppose I should clarify that it’s the color of the background that didn’t gel for me, personally. You have this bold red-orange motif with a jade/teal top bar, then a blue-on-light-blue background which fails to set itself apart from the main content area. If you tinted it so the pugilists matched the top bar and the background was a lighter shade of that hue, I’d be pleased as vodka-spiked punch.

  10. Does the PediSedate come with a car-jack like the Wii adapter? I’m sensing that there are some niche markets that could be addressed here – Let’s see how fast we can turn the national freeway system into the beer-chugging tricycle race from Revenge of the Nerds.

  11. Coberholt says:

    Message:Just gonna throw this out there, that blue border hurts the shit outta my eyes.

    Other than that, Grade A comedy, Robert.

  12. steven.seib@yahoo.com says:

    I think my boxers are broken, I can’t get them to do the octopi dance. They just wiggle back and forth very ackwardly.

  13. Robert says:

    Coberholt, Seib,

    Are you against the pugilists too? Damn, I love them. If they’re making it that hard to read though…

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