Monthly Archives: September 2009

There’s a new column up at Cracked, regarding arch-nemeses, time travel, grizzled scientists, ninja magic, five-jackin’, phantom penises and mighty vikings amongst other things. All of the aforementioned is technically true, and like the old saying goes: “There’s nothing funnier … Continue reading →

There’s a new article up at Cracked, regarding hot, steamy, sticky internet justice and the dispensation thereof. To be frank, this article was sponsored by Family Guy and they chose the topic, the profanity and some of the jokes had … Continue reading →

New article up at Cracked addressing some very important issues: Haven’t you ever wanted to smell like a giant squid-monster from beyond time? Haven’t you ever wondered what it’s like to be inside a dildo going sixty miles an hour? … Continue reading →

New article up at Cracked, and it’s kind of a spiritual sequel to “What’s Your Zombie Contingency Plan?” I took everything I learned from doing that article, addressed those concerns, then put in some swear words and references to beastiality, … Continue reading →

So yet another new column has gone live at Cracked today, thus furthering my plans for complete internet domination. It’s mostly about assault, kidnapping, drug-based superpowers, murder, and of course, healthcare reform. If you Digg it right here, you will … Continue reading →

There’s a new column up at Cracked here, regarding Jerry Curled mullets eating out knives, cyclical hell-fights where all fists are bullets, and razor Frisbees. It’s like a mad-lib filled out by insanity. You can Digg it here, or you … Continue reading →

I’ve got a new article up at Cracked, regarding the Utopian shape we will all surely carve our grandiose future into, as well as the horrible consequences we will pay for our arrogance. You know: Same old, same old. Digg … Continue reading →