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Monthly Archives: May 2009
The CIA’s 5 Most Mind Blowing Experiments With LSD
New feature article up at Cracked, (hopefully the first of many,) regarding the long and storied CIA tradition of trippin’ balls and bangin’ hos. This article finally tells you exactly who to blame for hippies, and the answer may surprise … Continue reading
The 5 Most Bizarre Ninja Turtle Rip-offs of the ’90s
New blog up at Atom regarding children’s television from almost twenty years ago, because I am mentally stuck in a retarded timewarp. However, just by looking at that image – man-sharks horrified by the tragedy of their own bodies – … Continue reading
The Six Creepiest Abandoned Places
Hey look! Here’s a list of things that may or may not also have jokes in it! WE’RE GONNA CHANGE THE WORLD WITH INNOVATIONS LIKE THIS. New blog up at Atom regarding my obsession with apocalyptic environments that I tried … Continue reading
The Five Most Badass Real Life Game Weapons
New article up at GameSpy, featuring those heroes of the internet: Nerds with construction skills. If you’ve ever wanted to see a man trying to balance an eight foot sword on top of a beer-belly, this is your article. Digg … Continue reading
If the Characters on ‘Lost’ Told the Truth
New article up at Cracked, wherein I basically swear at Lost for a thousand words or so…because I have to wait like a god damn year to find out if everybody exploded or not. The fuck kind of cliffhanger is … Continue reading
The Terrifying Implications of the First Human Clone
New blog up at Atom, regarding the madman in charge of the first human clone. Seriously, the guy is so terrifying and ominous, I would be surprised if he DIDN’T march across the face of this earth with his army … Continue reading
A Typical Day at the Office, As Told by Police Reports.
New article up on Cracked, wherein everybody gets arrested for drunken sexual molestation. Because it’s Wednesday, that’s why. They should consider themselves lucky it wasn’t Felony Friday, that shit gets real. Please Digg it here or just snuggle up to … Continue reading
The New Bionic Commando: Poorly Thought-out Childhood Fantasies Come to Life.
Good god, do I love the new Bionic Commando. I love it because it has introduced me to a childhood dream that I never knew about. Sure, I wanted to be Spider-Man, and I also wanted to be a master … Continue reading
The Six Most Bizarre Game Mods
New Gamespy article is up here! And if you’ve ever wanted to be eaten alive by Bill Cosby, boy have I got a game for you! And some pills! To quiet the voices! Digg it here if you like it, … Continue reading
The 5 Most Self-Defeating Fetishes
New article up at Atom about self-defeating fetishes. That is, fetishes that are, by their very nature, incredibly unlikely or even impossible to satisfy. For example, some people want to fuck the Eiffel tower. At least they dream big. Digg … Continue reading
I Fight Robots 