Monthly Archives: June 2010

5 Real Robots Built to Love You…To Death.

New column up at Cracked, and it’s ostensibly about the inherent pitfalls of imprinting human emotion onto cold, unfeeling machines. But honestly, if one were to break down the list, you’d find it’s mostly just saying “hey Science, stop building … Continue reading

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The Sociopath’s Guide to Owning and Maintaining Classic Cars

New column up at Cracked, wherein I relay all the little insights I’ve learned in buying and fixing up a classic car so far, and also apparently suffer some sort of emotional breakdown that is partially about my parents, but … Continue reading

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The 5 Weirdest Products on the Web, One Disturbing Night

New column up at Cracked, where I combine all the things you love: Rollerblading, the little seen sequel to The Wizard of Oz, prostitutes, Yelp reviews, Applebee’s appetizers, my fucking roommate Doug, Eiffel Towering, robot clones, and of course, responsible … Continue reading

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The U.S. Army’s Weed Weapon: A Paranoid But True Conspiracy

This week’s column, up now at Cracked, involves the United States Armed Forces, chemical weapons, marijuana, Wonder Woman arch-nemeses, temporarily gaining complete immunity to fire, strippers getting railed on top of toolbenches, regrets, hippies, and of course, invisible chickens all … Continue reading

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