Category Archives: Featured

10 Mustache Stereotypes That Must Be Stopped

There’s a new column up at Cracked, concerning the recent, ironic resurgence of the moustache, with terrifying pictures of the horrible consequences. My own moustache makes a guest appearance in this column, insisting it’s only going to crash out on … Continue reading

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M. Night Shyamalan is Making a Trilogy. Of Movies. Really.

New column up at Cracked which, as you may have guessed by the title, is about M. Night Shyamalan’s new trilogy of thrillers. Now, I don’t want to spoil anything… but I absolutely do that a lot of times in … Continue reading

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Choose Your Own Drug-Fueled Misadventure: Fuck the Future

New Choose Your Own Drug-Fueled Misadventure up at Cracked. In this one, we follow the plight of a man who, through poor decision-making skills and the influence of drugs, engages in a wacky adventure that, ultimately, is not what it … Continue reading

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5 Bizarre Real Life Gangs That Put ‘The Warriors’ To Shame

New column up at Cracked, and it might actually help with the disillusionment you’ve been nurturing ever since you first saw Boyz N The Hood and realized that real gangs are not baseball themed samurai with unique flame-based superpowers. Well, … Continue reading

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5 Real Robots Built to Love You…To Death.

New column up at Cracked, and it’s ostensibly about the inherent pitfalls of imprinting human emotion onto cold, unfeeling machines. But honestly, if one were to break down the list, you’d find it’s mostly just saying “hey Science, stop building … Continue reading

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The Sociopath’s Guide to Owning and Maintaining Classic Cars

New column up at Cracked, wherein I relay all the little insights I’ve learned in buying and fixing up a classic car so far, and also apparently suffer some sort of emotional breakdown that is partially about my parents, but … Continue reading

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The 5 Weirdest Products on the Web, One Disturbing Night

New column up at Cracked, where I combine all the things you love: Rollerblading, the little seen sequel to The Wizard of Oz, prostitutes, Yelp reviews, Applebee’s appetizers, my fucking roommate Doug, Eiffel Towering, robot clones, and of course, responsible … Continue reading

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