Monthly Archives: July 2009

The Holy Bible: A Book Review

So there’s a new column up at Cracked, where I review this awesome fantasy book called The Holy Bible. I don’t want to ruin anything for you, but this book has everything! Magic, shape-shifting, arson, rape, murder, prostitution, lions, torture, … Continue reading

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Videogames That Went M.I.A.

New feature up at Gamespy regarding the beautiful promises made to you by Game companies and the crushing, cruel defeats they handed out instead. Typing that all out, I’m not sure exactly why you should read this article, so in … Continue reading

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The 5 Most Badass Things Ever Done By Jungle Cats

There’s a new article up at Cracked which details the many fine and subtle ways that great cats are fuckin’ metal. It’s truly a controversial thesis; one which requires the hand of a metaphorical surgeon to coax from obscurity into … Continue reading

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A Life-Changing Seminar on Empowerment, Leadership and Boobs

New column up at Cracked wherein I attend a pentecostal church, because I feel like my place in this world may be more than just cracking jokes and mindless hedonism. It’s like…there’s got to be something more, you know? I … Continue reading

Posted in Featured, Uncategorized, Video Games | Tagged | 1 Comment

5 Reasons Cracked Loves America (A Message to the FBI)

New column up at Cracked, wherein I shamelessly plead with the FBI to destroy my colleagues and continue turning a blind eye to my many, many criminal activities. That’s what I refer to as “patriotism.” Plus there’s boobies. Digg it … Continue reading

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