The 5 Most Self-Defeating Fetishes

New article up at Atom about self-defeating fetishes. That is, fetishes that are, by their very nature, incredibly unlikely or even impossible to satisfy. For example, some people want to fuck the Eiffel tower. At least they dream big. Digg it here, because there’s nothing more tragic than eternal blue balls.

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17 Responses to The 5 Most Self-Defeating Fetishes

  1. Matt Willard says:

    I’m normally tolerant of other people’s kinks (it’s their business, why should I care?) but even I was amazed by the potential creepy of the dress-up thing.

  2. Muledriver says:

    “An American punk band back in the ‘80s called the Cat Chaser Experience frequently wet themselves on stage, encouraging fans they called “wetty gurls” to do the same in the audience.”

    I would be inclined to ask where the fuck you found that if I didn’t already know that you own teh internets.

  3. tojo2000 says:

    Thanks! If you hadn’t posted this article, I never would have discovered !

  4. Tom says:

    Why isn’t the Transformation fetish listed on there? That one has the qualifying marks of being weird and physically impossible, probably with transhuman technologies.

    And don’t forget the (Anthromorphoid)werewolf fetish, a subset of the TF Fetish that breaks all possible laws of conservation of matter! Like Peter is the Wolf (Which can be found at Oh dear god, Peter is the wolf. It’s actually not bad in the “general audiences” version, and actually a pretty decent comic in that form, but if you accidentally turn onto the X-Rated version, DEAR GOD COVER YOUR EYES! If you don’t, you’ll probably wake up 5 hours later with a massive headache and no knowlege of actually having read it due to your brain tryign to block it out. Just warning ya so you don’t blame me.

  5. Anon says:

    The mental image of all those Dollers turning to look at you all at once was actually pretty terrifying.

  6. Robert says:


    It’s obvious; I was a wetty gurl.

    Please god let my family never stumble across that joke.


    Now you too can be the cause of the robo-apocalypse! Seriously, they’re already going to kill us. Do you have to rape them into it?


    Because I did not know about either of those things, and thanks to memory repression, still don’t!


    I wasn’t allowed to embed videos, because the only ones I could find were on Youtube and Atom is part of Viacom, which is suing Youtube, but if you want to see the face of terror, look up the doller stuff there. Seeing those things in motion with their weird miming and creepy man-girl grunts is something that will ruin you as a person.

  7. Spideycow says:

    Message: I thought that the doll one was going to be like masking, which is just as similarly fucked up in a way because the people wear terrifying (but human-shaped) silicon masks when they do it. To tell you the truth I would rather do a doll than have a masked monstrosity on top of me. Normally though I would just take the third choice and get the hell out of town, leaving my old fetish-infected life behind me.

  8. Spideycow says:

    Oh crap. Sorry about that ‘message’ thing there, this is the first time I’ve made a comment although I’ve been following for a while.

  9. JasonF says:

    Message: spideycow, you will never be forgiven. hide yourself in shame.

  10. JasonF says:


  11. Sausage Jonston says:

    Message:oh man i just rubbed one out over that hot cup pic.
    Oh so that’s what that Kigurumi is all about, lol, sad

  12. Muledriver says:

    I used to be in a band called ‘Sausage Jonston”. I played the drums.

  13. Sausage Jonston says:

    I know, we like to dress up like you and have LARP sex. All consensual. Bit of a Sausagefest (hehe) atm but oh well

  14. Sausage Jonston says:

    I think Robert is fucking awesomely lol but this is self-defeating as he looks to have ginga tendencies. 😦 sad face

  15. Robert says:

    Did you just call me a ginger?

    You…you dirty son of a bitch!

    Seriously though, what were you trying to say here?

  16. Sausage Jonston says:

    I’m, I’m just lonely 😦
    I think you are very funny and I’m sorry I called you the ginga 😦

  17. Nexox says:

    I had some plans to break into the teledildonery market at some point. Not that I didn’t just make up that particular conjugation, but I think you know what I mean.

    Seems like lots of people like the Internet, and lots of people also like sex. There are a couple (they’re hard to find) examples of these interests coinciding, so obviously there is profit to be had from letting people fuck eachother over the internet. With bluetooth.

    At least thats what I think teledildonery is all about…

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