Sex Robot – Finally Nerding Up Foreplay

Meet Lisa, an experimental robot designed by a trio of multimedia artists.

lisa with the laser eyes

In looking at that picture, was your first response “I really want to fuck that?” Congratulations, you are on the cutting edge of advanced robotics! That is precisely the kind of response the creators were hoping for, and though I personally don’t find a corpse-like mannequin with what appear to be lasers for eyes a huge turn-on, apparently there’s just a huge hankering to stick some dick into raw circuitry out there. Lisa, fully named The Moaning Lisa (nothing like puns to make we want to bone a corpse!) is mostly innovative for her interface. The designers created a responsive code that plays MP3s of sexually aroused females in response to the user’s attentions. Supposedly, this can be used to teach reluctant, timid virgin nerds about the importance and correct methods of sexual foreplay.

Yes, somebody has managed to nerd up foreplay.

lisa with the drill...neck?

A lot.

Although the current Moaning Lisa comes pre-loaded with MP3s of women in various states of arousal, the inventors want to stress the versatility of their custom interface. Any set of MP3s can be linked to any touch-sensitive areas. Some cited potential uses of this technology are heightened sensitivity touch displays for computers, vehicles and cell phones. But if we are to be truly honest with one another, everybody knows you’re just going to program your specific kinks into the fuck-doll. I’m going to get ready right now and rip some MP3s from CNN’s website. Personally, I can’t wait for my fake woman that will play clips of Larry King in response to being finger-banged.

Don’t you fucking judge me.

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7 Responses to Sex Robot – Finally Nerding Up Foreplay

  1. Chalks says:

    I have nothing witty or amusing to say. I think your Larry King fetish pretty much tops anything I could possibly come up with.

  2. deadlytoque says:

    Man, nerds need to learn that the best way to have meaningless and painfully guilty sex isn’t to built creepy corpselike robots with built-in iPods (when she reaches her full state of arousal, the soundtrack from Debbie Does Dallas starts playing!). It’s to pick up girls (or guys, depending on preference) with low self-esteem!

  3. Jerk Face says:

    @ deadlytoque


  4. Alex of the Colossus says:

    I realize that I’m juuuuuuuust a tiny bit late to be commenting on this post, but dammit Robert (and to whoever it may concern, I guess…) you’re the reason I didn’t get any sleep with your cool blog with its awesome geek content and I think it’s not asking too much for me to respond well after the fact.

    Anyways… I’d program it to play the Final Fantasy victory fanfare when the fembot has an “orgasm”.

  5. Robert says:

    I immediately pictured that, and it just…worked. Bravo, sir. Glad you like the site.

  6. Tom says:

    Ya know, they weren’t really trying that hard. Have you ever heard of Real Dolls? They could have used one of those intead of that creepy mannequin.

    I leared about it via the Pornographic Nightmare Fuel Section at I love that website.

    HEAD INJURY THEATER IS NOT A PORN SITE! It’s about terrible films like “Night of the Lepus” and the mockery thereof.

  7. Robert says:

    Are you advertising for head injury porn here, fella?

    You’ve misjudged your demographic.

    Well, except for Forts. I bet he’d be down.

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