How Hollywood Decided to Reboot Spider-Man (Probably)

So the new column is up at Cracked, and in it I discover something unsettling about myself: I am way too good at writing Hollywood dickheads. Considering that I’m moving to LA soon, I am both afraid for my moral center and excited about how much money my newfound amorality will bring. I’m getting my pre-sleaze on up here, so I can just slip right in down there. Digg for disturbing mental images!

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4 Responses to How Hollywood Decided to Reboot Spider-Man (Probably)

  1. bobkerolls says:

    Message:I hope the balls are metaphors for something. Perhaps man’s struggle against nature. CONSIDER.

  2. Couzin Vinny says:

    Oh god… wow…

    Gimme a minute… catch… breath…



    …Okay. That was truly hilarious. I need to go rub my balls against my car.

    Fuck your brilliance, Brockway. I’m voting for you in 2012.

    PEACE!

  3. Julian says:

    I loved this text so much that i want to have your child and drown in your blood.

  4. ???????? says:

    ??? ????????? ???? ?????, ???? ? ?? ?? ???? ????????.

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