Revisiting Old-School Text Adventure Games as a Jaded Modern Gamer

New column up at Cracked, where I revisit the innocent simplicity of text adventures with the callous sensibilities that modern day video games have instilled in me. Wacky hijinks ensue! Then I take a trip to Paris where wacky hijinks ensue! Then I bring a date home, but Mr. Roper walks in so I have to pretend to be gay for him but also impress my lady friend and wacky hijinks ensue! Digg for wacky hijinks and the ensuing thereof!

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4 Responses to Revisiting Old-School Text Adventure Games as a Jaded Modern Gamer

  1. Rofleren says:

    Best article EVER 😀

  2. Muledriver says:

    I second that.

    Holy shit, Rob…you’ve written some funny shit but this one is, hands-down, the funniest.

    “It tastes like your grandfather smells.” That should get some kind of an award.

  3. Jim says:

    Message:
    Oh my god…I laughed so hard I coughed up a spleen. Thank god it wasn’t mine…

    Thank you for funniness…it makes me tingle inside like a prepubescent girl on horseback.

  4. Alex says:

    Okay when I find something I normally give a low-pitch chuckle, when I find something hilarious I give off a high-pitch Hyena laugh.
    THIS article made me go full-on Bat screech.

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