A Touching Children’s Book (Written While High)

A new column is up at Cracked today, and really the only thing I have to say about this is as follows: Do not attempt this at home. Oh, I don’t mean “don’t huff gasoline” or “don’t burn your friends on a whim,” or “don’t expose your epic stupidity to hundreds of thousands of people on the internet.” No, I mean whatever you do, under no circumstances should you write and illustrate a parody children’s book over a three-day period. That is way, way more work than you think it is. Please Digg or otherwise share this fucking thing, because if it doesn’t do well I’m going to find the source of all imagination and strangle it to death.

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3 Responses to A Touching Children’s Book (Written While High)

  1. RCBIII says:

    I read your story and I liked it alot
    The dionsore was my favorot
    I like the pictures, but Dr Suess you are not.

    It is so good to know there is another little boy out there with
    a musctache and 9 inch dick.

  2. Matt Willard says:

    Dr. Prehistoria really reminds me of the Glukkons from Abe’s Oddysee for some reason. That’s kinda cool. Maybe it’s his magnificent shoulders.

  3. Dougfromdougland says:

    Farewell to Maxwell,
    He was one of the best;
    And although he went to Hell, in the boy’s chest,

    He will always be remembered,
    ‘Cause that’s where the stomach is, I think,
    And a lizard that’s been dismembered
    By lava is sure to be Hell on a gas-filled stomach.

    – I think I can hear my English teacher rolling in her grave (probably because she’s not dead yet). Anyways, that was my tribute to Macky, Mickey, or whoever-the-hell died for the Mustachioed Boy’s lava-sledding sins.

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