Do Not Click “Read More” If You Like Sanity.

So I was shopping in T.J. Maxx earlier today, when I accidentally stumbled into the Stygian Nightmares section:

OH GOD HOW DID HE GET THAT.

Seriously, I really shouldn’t have touched that thing. My knowledge of Eastern European culture is rudimentary at best, but I’m pretty sure you contract Gypsy curses by handling that shit. Also, please note the name of the knife I gave him, I thought it highly appropriate: Simply CUT.

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9 Responses to Do Not Click “Read More” If You Like Sanity.

  1. Ninetoes says:

    I wanted to punch you in the taint for posting this, however, you did warn me.

    Still, just…fuckbuckets.

  2. Kaitlyn says:

    Message: That looks uncannily like my ex boyfriend. And he’s definitely the type to brandish a knife still in the packaging.

  3. travis says:

    I don’t know if I’m more scared of the knife or the “I’m going to rape your face” look in its eyes.

  4. larry says:

    You know, this is pretty much everything I look for in a life-long partner, minus the whole not actually human thing.

  5. bleffoob says:

    God, I hate sanity so much.

  6. Fortesque says:

    By God, it looks like the love child of the terrors of Eastern Europe and Ireland.

    What atrocity happened to his feet?
    It’s terror is actually it’s charm. Imagine giving this as a gift to a hated cousin or your old high school principle.

    I would try to sell it or pass it on as a gift. If you buried it it might come back to haunt you.

  7. Muledriver says:

    I spanked it to that second picture. Is that wrong? TMI? Whatev…DON’T JUDGE ME!

  8. Rev JSH says:

    How could you even think of touching yourself while gazing upon that enchanting critters beautiful hands. They made my own seem inadequate and vile. From now on, i’m going back to humping furniture.

  9. the girlfriend says:

    Robert’s main regret? That he didn’t put him in the children’s section before leaving.

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