I Fight Robots On Two-week Break

So we’re moving house pretty soon, and I’m not exactly sure when we’ll have regular internet access again. In light of this news, as well as the general fuckery that comes with moving, I Fight Robots will be on break for a couple of weeks, but regular updates should definitely resume by Saturday, February 7th. I’ll try to get wi-fi access here and there and post links to my other columns in the featured spot (just below the main article on the front page,) and will post whatever else I can in the asides spot (just below features.) Sorry guys, I won’t make a habit out of it. It’s not like I prefer to lift couches and swear at doorways instead of writing about robots with dicks or whatever; it’s just the way life is sometimes.

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11 Responses to I Fight Robots On Two-week Break

  1. iDontliketheiprefix says:

    I fucking hate moving out too, even when the place I am moving into is great… The thing is that packing all the stuff you have cluttered into your messy desktop drawers into boxes that you might or might not see again is just… Fuck it… I just wanted to say that i found this site weeks ago following a cracked.com link…I read most of what’s here, thing you might not even recall posting, when I bored and i look forward every day to keep on reading to learna about robots from stories that might mindrape you with mechanical dicks…

  2. Luke says:

    Good luck man, I just did the whole moving fandango a couple of months ago. May I recommend the “Keep working even though your back has actually popped out of your body” approach over the “Bit at a time every day until you feel like you’ve never not been moving” strategy.

    Even in the new place you’re not safe. I ended up shopping for curtains recently, and got in trouble when I suddenly screamed and looked down the front of my pants to check I was still male.

  3. Anon says:

    On break to suck dog cocks.

  4. Bobolequiff says:

    Good luck with the move, I’m sure fighting robots will be far more satisfying from your new pad. That’s assuming you don’t commute to robot fights, in which case it probably wouldn’t make that big a difference.

    Anon, what is it with you and dog cocks? Why not just cocks? Why dogs in particular? Why not bears?

  5. Fortesque says:

    Moving is an excellent chance to get rid of all the shit you gather over the years though. And the dead bodies.
    It can really be rejuvenating.

    You also have the chance to huff paint so that’s ok. Though one may break out in miniature vaginae while shopping for curtains or talking about decorating.

    It’s a half half deal.

    I’ll just have to imagine robot combat and robot penis thumping without Robert’s help.

  6. the girlfriend says:

    Robert loves shopping for linens. We hit up two white sales last month alone! He’ll say that he goes to make sure I don’t spend $15 on a napkin again, but I know it’s because he has a secret love and appreciation for fine fibers.

  7. Anon says:

    Bears are good too.

  8. Jason says:

    Robert has been outed. Somebody take his “Man Card” and deduct a few points. Shopping for linens with your significant other is all well and good if it is for the sake of appeasement. Or scoring points to be used later upon said linens! (Anon would not understand this, sorry Anon).

    Enjoying shopping for linens and stuff is borderline gay. Or perhaps borderline Emo.

    Be Careful!

  9. Brett says:

    You hear that Bobo? BEARS. Now you’re putting the whole blog in jeopardy.

  10. Bobolequiff says:

    If Robert were to keep those giant, marauding, godless killing machines sated then maybe, just maybe, they won’t come after us.

  11. Robert says:


    While I’m glad people like you are finding the site and liking it enough to crawl through the old content, I feel pretty bad for you. Since the redesign the archives are all fuckered about in terms of layout, and just look godawful. We were going to fix that, but then I remembered I’m lazy. So no. Deal.


    We pretty much went the ‘work until you die’ route, until it was some semblance of a house. Then we quit and now there are boxes everywhere. I make forts out of them.


    Somehow, I do no think you had any problem filling your imagination with robot penises and fighting.

    Everybody Else,

    I do not enjoy white sales, I went twice because we bought new sheets and the cat immediately pissed on them. This is why I hate the cat and, by extension, all cats and, by further extension, people who like cats.

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