The US Military is developing a new, non-lethal microwave gun in order to disperse crowds.
Now, you’ve probably heard of that before, but this is a new take on the old news: It’s a microwave sound gun. They’ve dubbed it the MEDUSA, and it beams sounds straight into your head, bypassing the eardrums entirely. That’s wonderful! Assuming you can just turn the volume down a little below ‘weaponized,’ then targeted audio is an awesome development. Here’s a silver leotard and a Segway, friend; welcome to the future!
Oh, but wait…what’s with the microwaves, then? That sounds a little worrisome.
Well, as it turns out, the company developing the MEDUSA had some different ideas about beaming sounds into your head. They didn’t want to use any of the conventional, reasonable theories conceived so far: They’re not using targeted audio frequencies, because you could just block the sound waves if they bothered you. It’s not really a superweapon if it can be thwarted by that classic grade school strategy: Plugging your ears and yelling “la la la, I can’t heeeaaar you!” They don’t want to use bone vibrations, because soldiers would actually have to plant the device on the intended victim and, at that point, it would probably be more cost effective to just punch them in the back of the head until they move along. So MEDUSA takes another route; it uses “short microwave pulses” that “rapidly heat tissue, causing a shockwave inside the skull that can be detected by the ears.”
Let’s put that in a different, more fear-mongering way: It transmits sound by nuking your face so hard that you can hear the explosions FROM THE INSIDE OUT.
They plan to use the MEDUSA mostly for “non-violent crowd control,” which makes me think that perhaps the United States Military doesn’t speak English, because there’s little I would call non-violent about slowly blowing up people’s skulls with radiation. Apparently this isn’t much of an ethical problem for the armed forces, but at least one researcher in the developing field of microwave sound admits that he is “worried” about the fact that “you might see some neural damage” affecting the victims later. The same researcher is also “unsure” about lighting puppies on fire, and “a little shaky” on the subject of knife-rape. He is, however, “cautiously optimistic” on the subject of ethnic cleansing, and “feelin’ pretty good” about injecting hobos with the black plague.
The inventors also state that though it is still too early in the fine-tuning process now, eventually they do expect to produce recognizable sounds by transmitting these pulses at different power levels and speeds. So someday you could actually understand microwave audio the same as regular audio, you’d just hear it more…viscerally. Also, considering that the operators of this equipment are likely to be US Soldiers – average age of 19 – expect in the near future to hear the words “cocksmoker” and “fagtard” so hard that your memories explode.