Here are several things that I thought were pretty interesting, but not really “paragraph” interesting. As such, I have adopted a Night at the Improv Zinger approach. I would say I hope you enjoy it, but honestly, I kind of hope you hate it so much that you punch your desk in impotent frustration.
It would just show good taste on your part.
“Machine Gun That Fits in Your Pocket”
Is that a machine gun in your pocket or are you just happy to see m-HOLY FUCK THAT IS A MACHINE GUN IT IS ACTUALLY A MACHINE GUN NOW IS FOR RUNNING.
“A turtle shaped airship is perhaps the last thing you might expect to see floating through the sky, but this eco-friendly craft might just be key to the next generation of humanitarian relief.”
To summarize: Environmentalists forgot what turtles look like.
“Changing weather patterns could contribute to political instability around the world, the collapse of governments and the creation of terrorist safe havens.”
“Man, it is a scorcher today. I’m gonna pick up the kids and head down to the pool, you wanna come?”
“Nah, I’m just gonna kill some colored folk. Thanks, though.”
And then both have ice cream.
“The Amish are famous for shunning technology. But their secret love affair with the cell phone is causing an uproar.”
LOL U R CHURNING ME ON!
Fuck you, above sentence.