Russian soldiers found this crazy-ass thing on a beach over the weekend, and are baffled as to what it could be.
I assume this is because The Dark Crystal didn’t translate very well over there, because clearly, it’s this guy:
Also, this is a prime opportunity to posit a question that has been bothering me for years: Why is it that when Russians are perplexed by a situation, the first thing they do is send an old Russian man to smoke a cigarette directly over said situation?
Does this help? Is it the same guy? Is there one dude in Russia that you call when you don’t know shit – and he comes in, lights up, pokes around for a bit in his silken man-blouse – before ultimately proclaiming, “Da. Whut you haff here is easy. Is urRu. From Dark Crystal. Step lightly, comrade, Skeksis not far behind,” at which point he fires up his giant, gray, box-shaped truck and trundles off into the sunset listening to shitty techno from 1996?