Shit, you guys.
I am so bad at videogames now. I’m pretty sure I used to be good, but then I had sex, and now it is all gone.
When confronted with enemies suddenly appearing before me, my response is no longer an intricate series of flips and jumps with guns blazing. Instead, my gut reaction is now to spin counter-clockwise in one place, firing explosives at my own feet in inexplicable intervals until I am dead.
Then, there is much swearing.
What a useless post, it’s like a big “fuck you,” for paying attention to me. So, in the interest of forthrightness: