TASTE THE TRAILER

Somewhere along the line Wendy’s, which used to be the “less diarrhea for your dollar” fast food staple, decided to take the Jerry Springer approach to the culinary arts by adding such haute cuisine to the menu as the Chili Frito Bowl, and The Baconator – a cheeseburger with six strips of bacon, jalapenos, and a pregnant daughter to support.

aw shit

So imagine my surprise when I check the bank account the other day and see a charge from Wendy’s on there. I knew it wasn’t me, as typically I do my blacking out at night from all the drinking and maudlin sobbing, or just that strangely satisfying post strangled-hooker exhaustion. I texted the girlfriend the following:

Me: Aw…my poor girl. Wendy’s?

The Girlfriend: It was the popular vote.

Me: How was the Frito Trough? Did you get a side of Chili Bacon and a Ranch Shake?

The Girlfriend: I had chicken nuggets and a salad you jerk.

Me: Did you get the Cheeto and Mayonaisse Salad? That shits be delicious.

The Girlfriend: I’m on my way home, ass.

Me: ARE YOU ON THE FRITO BACON SPICEBLASTER BUS?!

No. You cannot.

Needless to say, I’m single now. Anybody up for some hot, sexy, steamy verbal abuse?

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11 Responses to TASTE THE TRAILER

  1. Girlfriend says:

    And I saved all of my farts for you, my love.

  2. Lester the Mo says:

    women…… or bacon…..

    both you can eat, but only one tastes great.

    interesting.

  3. Paul says:

    I hope she washed it down with a can of Brawndo, the Thirst Mutilator.

  4. Jerk Face says:

    I ate a Spicy Baconator yesterday.

    It tasted of regrets.

  5. Robert says:

    And teenage pregnancy?

    I imagine it would have the salty crunch of wasted potential.

  6. Robert says:

    No, Paul. Brawndo is what plants crave, not girlfriends.

  7. Kaitlyn says:

    Verbal abuse is the glue that holds my relationship together. But a Baconator just might tear it apart.

  8. Robert says:

    They are ruination.

    RUINATION IN BURGER FORM.

  9. Brett says:

    I had that Baconator… Now I can’t see… DON’T ASK HOW I’M TYPING THIS WHEN I’M BLIND.

  10. Pooky B says:

    You slack jawed faggots
    Eatin a baconator will make you a goddamn sexual tyrannosaur
    Just like me.
    Time for old Painless

  11. Robert says:

    Yes, bacon and jalapeno diarrhea is sexually terrifying, like a tyrannosaur.

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