I’ve just bought a scanner, and that means you will be seeing way too much of some of the following things:
1.) Half-completed scans of my terrified cat
2.) My bizarre and let’s be honest, childish drawings
3.) Flattened cock
Which one did you guess? If you guessed all three, you would be…wrong!
I will, of course, be pursuing all three of these options, but you will only be able to see my bizarre and childish sketches. Because, as logic dictates, attempted scans of my cat will go only to my girlfriend, while flattened cock scans will be sent, along with threatening notes quoting obscure bible verses, exclusively to TV’s MacGyver, Richard Dean Anderson.
So, here’s the kind of sketch I spent years practicing technique for:
That’s right, it’s Abraham Lincoln with a steam powered robotic arm. I call him “Rocketpunch Lincoln.” I created a whole universe of drawings for Lincoln, involving a complicated back-story prior to his presidency that involved him heavily (as a cybernetically enhanced secret agent,) in the events of the Crimean War. These sketches included Karl Marx as a werewolf (creatively named Were-Marx,) as well as such memorable characters as The Shaolin Pope, a robot servant named The Gentlemen’s Companion and, of course, the obligatory Napolean Bonaparte Super-Mech. I was all set to start a comic of these fucking ridiculous concepts, when I noticed something:
See, I just get too excited while drawing, stopping frequently to pump my fist in the air and to make explosion noises with my mouth, and sometimes forget that I was supposed to be drawing such trivial matters as say, another arm. This ultimately results in awkward, last minute adjustments that leave all of my pictures with absurdly detailed focus points, such as weapons or top hats, but huge, glaring errors, such as possibly broken limbs flailing haphazardly at hastily sketched pocketwatches.
It is a unique problem, shared only with me by five year old boys. Now, if you’ll excuse me…
KABOOOOOM PKOW PKOW PKROOOOSH BLAK BLAK *ah god, he got me with his awesome robot arm oh i’m dead shit* BEEEEOOOOOO BAGOOOOOOM!!!!