Caution! Low flying ZINGERS!

What celebrity beef-bucket was recently spotted causing Chaos with his tragic car Crash?

phillipey

This stud-pastry was c-Ryan after the accident and probably wished he hadn’t gone for that last Phillipe at the local gas station, when his fuel tank was Breach-ed! As the burning fuel engulfed him, this Little Boy Blue up, taking most of a city block with him!

zingray

Paramedics were Nowhere to be found, and the hunky man-cake was pronounced dead on the scene, awash in a Crimson Tide of blood!

Talk about your Cruel Intentions!

WORLDS GREATEST

That’s the kind of shit you’re in for, guys. Take it! Take it all and then say my name, fuckers.

Seriously though, guys, I’m done. I really appreciate all the help some of you put forward, and though the numbers weren’t all we’d hoped for, my article was a hit with the staff and we’ll probably be doing more. I mostly just wanted a reason to post that crying eagle. It’s like they took my soul and turned it into a bird and then 9/11ed it.

Also, if we’re to be honest here, I was really just looking (as all writers secretly do,) for an excuse to write some zingers. It is, after all, the ultimate form of the written word.

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2 Responses to Caution! Low flying ZINGERS!

  1. Jerk Face says:

    Woo!

    Those zingers be fresh!

  2. StoatLad says:

    You, sir, have undone years of therapy with a single post.

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