So, I was expecting that because I posted a carefully worded, reasonable plea (read: shameless fucking begging) a decent amount of people would help me out in pushing that article.
I expected maybe 10% of the people that come through here daily to help me out…turns out that number was more along the lines of 1%.
I expected maybe the people I know personally to lend a hand…turns out even my girlfriend hasn’t read the article, much less helped me push it.
So, as a way of thanking all of you who did help out, here are the nudes I promised you:
Because you can’t spell classy without ‘dat “ass.”
Now, look away everybody who helped. Are they gone? Good, as a way of punishing the vast majority of you who didn’t do shit, this is yours:
I WENT THERE.
I BET YOU FEEL BAD NOW, HUH? NOT ABOUT ME OR ANYTHING, BUT BAD IN MORE OF A GENERAL SENSE. I BET YOU’RE JUST SLIGHTLY LESS HAPPY, SO THERE.
That’s right. I 9/11-ed you. You got 9/11-ed.
As a way of further displaying my unhappiness, the next several posts will now be in the style of Entertainment Tonight. My article tanked and I probably won’t be doing anything else, so now you’re stuck with just that kind of crap for your entertainment news. I’m going to show you what you’re in for.
I fuckin’ hope you guys are ready for some zingers, because there’s a storm approaching, and behind it there are four pale riders whose names are death, and the zingers follow with them.