Important – I need your help.

Hey, I wrote this:

The Most Bizarre Oscar Controversies of All Time

intro graphic

Go there, enjoy.

Okay, you may have heard me talking about some big news, so here’s the deal: has contacted me about some work with them. They’re known right now as a video site for shorts of all kinds, and they’re pretty big in that field I gather. They’re a subsidiary of MTV, and have worked out some kind of merger with Comedy Central. Basically, they’re big-time. However, most of their site has been slowly shifting to comedy, and now so are they. They plan to relaunch in mid-april. Until then, they have some seed money and are trying out a potential direction – introducing written content. If it takes off, it could become a permanent part of the site at relaunch.

So far, I’m the one they’ve contacted to start it. This article is the litmus test for this new direction, and if it works out, I and a few others I’ve brought in on this could have more steady work. More steady, well paying work doing what we love – which is writing dick jokes.

This is big news.

It could really help to set me up through graduate school and beyond, as well as a few other really funny bastards you don’t know yet. It could also give you a new place to whittle away your productivity during your “work” days. But it all hinges on these first few pieces doing enough traffic to justify the concept. So I am asking a favor: I need people to Digg these articles, at least in the beginning. If you have to make a Digg account, please do. I promise it’s not all that much work. Then just hit a button.

This first one is mine and the most important test, so if you only do it once let it be on this one. But we’d all appreciate it if you could do the same for some other articles maybe coming up, written by others. It would really help us prove our viability. Spread the word about them; send them to friends, anything helps. That first little bump will help us maybe make the front page, and hopefully the article is strong enough to stand after that. I would really appreciate it. It’s like donating to charity – it’s a small thing for you, but to us it’s huge.

Only in this case, instead of getting a picture and a letter of a starving child, you get photoshops with the word “fuck” in them, and possibly several humorous essays about things that happened in the 1980s.

This is all I can offer you in return, and it is yours.



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14 Responses to Important – I need your help.

  1. Jerk Face says:

    Dugg, pal. I wish you and your dick-joke-crafting friends the best of luck in this!

  2. Brett says:

    I’m going to make a digg thing just to promote your stuff because I love knowing that there are other fucked up people in this world besides the ones I see under the freeway overpass.
    But as the Dwarven laws dictate a favor must be returned with another favor, usually this means sex but upon seeing your picture you look a bit like a serial rapist (no offense… well maybe a little) so I’m going to ask that you head on over to a blog run by myself, a psyche major and some guy with black hair who we think is a Philosophy major. DO IT! THE DWARVES COMMAND THEE

    Leave comments, they feed our egos.

  3. Jess says:

    I made a Digg account. For you.

    That’s right.

  4. Robert says:

    That is because I am awesome. And I thank you.

  5. Aidan says:

    Also made a digg account because I crave any type of appreciation. Good article by the way. Fairly well known travesties dealt with in filthy ways. Good Luck with it.

  6. I very much enjoyed it. Your column is going to truly be great. Best use of $1.87 since “$1.87 McRib Day”

    [Editor’s note: your Editor’s note made me want to shoot myself in the face]

  7. Robert says:

    Well,, at this rate I will not have a column.

    Seriously, something like 1/30th of the people that have visited this site direct from bookmark today and read this post have dugg or done anything for that article. Those numbers don’t even equal the number of people I know personally having dugg or done anything for that article. I think this whole thing is tanking right before me and it sucks. It doesn’t help that legal couldn’t greenlight my images so it’s all just a wall of text, but damn, I was expecting better than this…

    Thanks you guys that did, that was nice. I’ll post nudes later in appreciation. Not of me or anything, just nudes. Classy ones, like in paintings.

  8. SFGalSJG says:

    You can directly digg the oscar article here:

    it was on the upcoming channel for a little, let’s get it back on there

  9. Muledriver says:

    You’d better check before posting those nude pictures.

    I don’t think you’re allowed to do that on the internet.

  10. Devilfish says:

    For the less net-savvy of us (me); could someone please explain how to do this digging I am asked to do? Seriosuly, I’d love to help but I don’t really understand how.

  11. Robert says:

    Well, it might be kind of late now to push it to the forefront but just for the sake of information:

    Check the link three comments up, that will get you right to the entry for that article. Click the badge with the numbers on it, it says ‘digg it!’ That’ll prompt you to create an account like for anything else, do so, and it should remember that you wanted to digg it and automatically complete that for you. If it does not, now that you have an account you can just go back and hit the ‘digg it’ button for anything you like and it’ll register.

    Stay tuned for your classy, subdued, form-driven nudity!

  12. Hans Von Internet says:

    @ Muledriver

    No, man, it’s totally fine. I’m cool with it.

    (See what I did there? That’s a call-back, kids.)

  13. Muledriver says:


    Whew! Thanks for clearing that up!

    Yours forever,


  14. Paul says:

    I dugg it. But if you want to blame anyone, blame Ian. He promised cocksucking or something in return for a digg, and had I seen that beforehand, I probably would have avoided it out of an abundance of caution.

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