I’m fucking tanked with midterms, this Oscar job, and trying to coordinate an elite force of guys who tell write dick jokes all at once, so forgive the weak posts today.
You know, I really don’t want this to be the kind of blog that’s all like “check out this funny video, then maybe I’ll say something funny about it, like you give a fuck!”
But, you guys, check out this funny video! Then I’ll say something funny about it, and you can give a fuck!
I don’t need to tell you that this is the best thing on the internet. The video makes it’s own case quite compellingly. What I do need to tell you, is that “exchange some fuck faces” is the best euphemism for sex I may have ever heard. I just wish it was more flexible, as polite conversation does not give you nearly enough opportunities to use the phrase. So I’m going to start subbing it for other phrases as well, even if the end result is highly inappropriate and completely nonsensical.
I will no longer refer to the congratulatory slapping of hands as high fives, but instead will say “good job dude, let’s exchange some fuck faces.”
I will no longer ask “how’s it going?” but instead will ask “have you exchanged some good fuck faces lately?”
Finally, I will no longer say “I love you,” but instead will insist that “you’re the only one I wanna exchange some fuck faces with.”
I’m so god damned sentimental, you guys.