Which means, logically, that Frasier is pedophilia.

So I’m taking a sociology class on marriage and family because, let’s face it, sometimes I watch America’s Next Top Model with my girlfriend – how many Man Points can I lose, really? This week’s reading dealt with sex, which I think is good times, but man-hating textbook writers think is violent rape. The argument they present is essentially this: When most girls lose their virginity, they were pretty sure the boy wanted it more. Due to the pain associated with it, they’re almost certain the boy enjoyed it more. If the girl wants it less than the boy, then she feels she has to be convinced into sex – so it’s not exactly forced but it can’t be truly consensual. This is called Nonforced Nonconsensual sex, and all non-consensual sex is rape. Women in general enjoy sex less than men, so all heterosexual sex is rape.

I’m sorry ladies, did you think you were capable human beings? No, haha, no. Turns out you’re just helpless victims because most of you like something less than men. So sorry! Oh, and guys, way to rape it up out there! Remind me to rape-five you later!

But hey, why stop at just sex, this argument is so fucking valid we can extend it to just about anything! I didn’t like that TV show Friends all that much, but I heard the cast were all great buddies in real life and had a really fun time filming it, therefore Friends raped me. Man, fuck you Friends, way to be rapists.

friends rapists

Listen, I know rape isn’t the easiest thing to laugh at. To tell you the truth I was phoning this one in a little bit. It’s early yet and I’m still half asleep, so you probably enjoyed reading this…more than I…enjoyed posting…

OH MY GOD YOU’RE RAPING MY BLOG!

YOU ARE RAPING THE TENDER VAGINA OF MY BLOG WITH THE THROBBING PATRIARCHAL COCK OF YOUR READERSHIP!

blog to reader relationship

OH GOD YOU’RE STILL DOING IT!

I DON’T UNDERSTAND WHY YOU WON’T STOP DOING IT!

WHY IS NOBODY HELPING?!

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12 Responses to Which means, logically, that Frasier is pedophilia.

  1. Kevin says:

    Hey man, rape is not funny………..its hilarious!

    PS- Sorry about raping your blog.

  2. Aidan says:

    Damn, don’t know which way to look. Im so sick and tired of my inadvertently raping people. Like last saturday I said when I said to the lady I said…

  3. dgrub. says:

    That’s funny. Two days ago I sent my buddy a txt that said “Rape is not a joke. It’s a punchline.”

    another good blog, yo.

  4. Lester the Mo says:

    Does this blog smell like chloroform to you?

  5. Josh Roberts says:

    Its not rape if you yell surprise!

  6. Paul says:

    In my continuing mission to reject the phallocentric paradigm of the patriarchy, I resolve to derive no enjoyment whatsoever from reading this blog. If that doesn’t work somehow, I will begin reading my own work exclusively, eschewing any interpersonal interaction and becoming an onanistic, autosexual internet being.

  7. Robert says:

    You know what guys? Thanks for joking about rape with me, I need some company in hell. You can hold my hair as the devil fucks my smartass mouth with his bladed dick while all the feminists applaud.

    Because feminists go to hell too.

    You secretly guessed that, though, didn’t you?

  8. Robert says:

    Oh, and Paul? I’m not scared of your big words.

    I have Google, and so I know that onanistic means glass hand.

    So there.

  9. Lester the Mo says:

    ohh slap!

  10. StoatLad says:

    This is like my junior year in high school all over again. Damn my glass hands.

  11. sam(a guys name) says:

    onastic sounds more like when there are like a million things on

    “dude u have everything in ur house on on. ur going to go broke from the electric bill”
    “I know isnt it onastic!”

  12. bill says:

    My brother just totally raped my mom for his rent.
    HARD.

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