I will pencil in your anger.

Yesterday, I posed a question to my girlfriend:

“Would you help me shave the cat?”

I asked this of her because I hate the cat, you see.

To which she replied, “Eh, if I don’t have anything else going on.”

Here I had surmised that asking her to spite-shave the cat with me might rank as one of the most unique requests made of her time that day. Apparently I was mistaken. I expected incredulity, or outrage, or even just a denial. Instead I was merely told that there might not be enough room in the schedule.

I had to see the schedule that would rank shearing the pet cat in anger as a maybe. I found it, and now I understand. Here:

will not shave the cat

I must admit, that shits is busy.

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5 Responses to I will pencil in your anger.

  1. Aidan says:

    Very good man. In fact all your articles have been great. There, now of course if the quality drops for even a second I must turn on you.

  2. Muledriver says:

    I second that. If you aren’t 100% on your game at all times than I, too, will turn on you. Meaning I will probably post a comment which is not exactly very flattering.

    Or I might have a sandwich*.

    Either or.

    *PB&J, since you were wondering.

  3. Robert says:


    I ain’t nothin’ but game.

    You turn on me and I will cut your family.

    Love and punches,

  4. Muledriver says:

    That makes me so hot.

  5. Lester the Mo says:

    I found my new best friend!

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