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Monthly Archives: April 2009
The Hoverboard Lie: How Back to the Future Ruined Childhood
New Cracked column up dealing with an issue near and dear to my heart: Murdering the bastard responsible for telling everybody that hoverboards were real, just too dangerous to sell. I found out who he is, and what the nearest … Continue reading
The Five Most Disturbing MMOS
New GameSpy article up, regarding the world’s most disturbing MMOS! You can Digg it right the hell here! There are cow-taints and zombie kitties! There are shit piles and disembodied asses! THERE ARE SO MANY MORE EXCLAMATION POINTS!!!
Death’s a Bitch: The Worst Deaths of the Millennium (So Far.)
New article up at Atom, which includes the worst Kung-fu movie plot in history, sword-fighting grandmas, ghoul-bullets, exploding wangs and the most absurd racism you will likely ever see. If you need more incentive to click on this, there’s also … Continue reading
City of Visual Puns
Ladies, listen up: I have a huge, throbbing, rock hard…inner nerd. And it’s about ready to explode all over your face. Because I just saw this:
The Worst Book Review Ever
New article up at Cracked, filled with perversion and insanity, drastically misundertanding the written word, and vaguely frightening away potential readers with images of a world they would rather pretend didn’t exist. Business as usual. Help it out over here … Continue reading
The Five Most Dangerous Game Peripherals
My first article is up at Gamespy! If somebody can help me get my hands on the PediSedate, my Saturday nights would sure appreciate it. Also, if the FBI just read that last sentence, I swear to god it’s not … Continue reading
Old Timey Ad Comics
I have this fascination with old timey advertising: I think it’s that unique combination of blatant racism, subtle sexism, and starry-eyed naivete that make these ads such classics. Sure, they’re horrible, rights-violating, politically incorrect testaments to ignorance, but god damn … Continue reading
Posted in articles
Tagged comics, lore, racism sexism and hulkamania meet and explode BROTHER
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Building A Superman: 5 Super Powers You Can Have Today
New article up at Atom! Oh, and you’re going to want to Digg this one because if you don’t, you’ll never know how to be Spider-Man. You’ll live the rest of your life completely web free, while your friends and … Continue reading
Zombie Contingency Plan is up at Cracked!
So it’s finally up at Cracked and you can Digg it here. Thanks again to everybody that helped with this! It turned out great and looks to be doing pretty well so far. And Remember: Don’t read the comments unless … Continue reading
The Last Dragon: Soul Calculus
I once had a theory that, seeing as how math is the universal language, it should be possible for all things and their parts to be broken down into mathematical expressions. If that’s the case, then all things must have … Continue reading
I Fight Robots 